Whatever fears I have and hold distort my reality. 

A fear there is not enough money, arises from a need of money. Yet, needs are an implication that we’d be better off in a state of which we are not currently in- A state of more money. That we are been separated from money, therefore we need it, yet the cause of the separation itself is fear.

“Needs only arise when you deprive yourself.’

My mind immediately went to money and romantic love when I read this statement. 

Yesterday was intense.

I sat down to do my Course work in the late morning, yet it triggered an ongoing uprising within me. 

The intensity was as if I had fallen off an emotional wagon. Steady and on track, then wobbling as the axles split under the weight of the carriage. 

I had a flashback to Buenos Aires early 2023 when I was reading May Cause Miracles for the first time. I remembered two curious items from that period. 

First, that was the last time I remember truly falling off my emotional wagon. An expression I began using after my fathers death (2008 suicide) which would ultimately be both my deepest hours but also my turning point to healing. 

Today’s reading is both obvious yet simply stated in a way that I am going to reread today’s entire section. I am also going to apply it both to my mind, the pains from yesterday, and the concepts of wealth and abundance as I do so. 

1.iv.2.11. ”The mind that serves spirit is invulnerable.”

Love this line from my first read through as it a kind reminder to my active mind that as it holds onto and retains what it has learned in habit, observation and self validation, it is in fact admitting its own vulnerability, or in these cases as listed, its weaknesses. 

It becomes self evident to my mind that it it holding on to its now weakness in each of these thought patterns. Therefore, the idea way forward is to let go of what it claims it needed to hold on to. 

Ok, to reread today’s passages… 

I had a brief 30 mins between my day and my evening to pick up the book. I began with the Workbook exercise knowing I could complete that in my limited timeframe- I completed both task. 

My meditation began with an intense pain in my mid abdomen accompanied by a sharp pain in my upper right neck. I have felt these pains before and consider them a priority in my healing quest. 

They seem to be attached to thoughts and some sense of self shaming, loathing, or other inner destructive series of judgmental thoughts combined with emotion. 

They were not new to me, yet not yet released nor understood- yet. 

Today’s text befuddles me in two ways. 

First, I did not understand the very word the chapter starts with: Revelation. Then it went on to say “Revelation is intensely personal and cannot be meaningfully translated.”

I accepted my confused state and trusted the words would work their magic anyways. 

After reflection, I wonder if Revelation is the term they apply to what I would consider enlightenment? An open channel in and without space and time, with the removal of all doubt and fear that is a direct channel with God. A one way channel where God may communicate to the intended yet the intended may not use the channel to communicate to God?

I began with the workbook, Lesson 1: a shifting of what I see to what is—or is not—real. Reality versus perception. Truth versus existence.

I enjoyed it. I could feel the inner workings of energy beginning to shift in my mind, subconscious, and heart chakra (chest and arm). It was delightfully stimulating.

I examined both the workbook and the text of structure, flow, and time dedication. Per the instructions, it is the reader’s choice to talent apart, together or in some other fashion. 

Due to my experience with “May Cause Miracles,” I find comfort and enhancement by combining the two. My desired approach was confirmed when I saw the structure of the two book portions. 

I’m holding the physical soft covered book in my hands. Shorter in stature than I expected- perhaps I can get through these 1300 pages faster than expected? Only time will tell. 

But first, a reflection back into the life alternating occasions that brought me here, to buying the book - to even knowing of its existence. 

It happened in three stages: